A lot of times we do things without second guessing ourselves. We just DO IT. Later on we may look back on what we just did and either regret it, think we were CRAZY for doing something, or just.. be glad we did it. I can't begin to describe the amount of times I just do things without thinking.. but in a positive aspect. Since I started this blog I hoped it would be a way for people to see joshua in a different light. Maybe you only know me as the shotboy at the bar, or as your co-worker, or as a loving member of your family... But there are many different layers and sides to me, to all of us. This blog is a way to share those sides to not let you just know "Joshua the shotboy" or "Joshua the marketing assistant" but JOSHUA.. for who he is. Granted my life is so complex and hard to understand at times even for myself... and I can probably name the 2-3 people in my life that pretty much know EVERYTHING about me, but I choose to write here, to share, with you.. who I am.
Now that the holidays are approaching I usually find reasons to do good for others around me... not always in hope that someone one day will do the same for me, but out of the goodness of my heart. The self gratitude I get out of helping others at times, puts me in positive spirits the same way I may of just made this persons day. This past month while in line at dunkin donuts.. getting my usual tea.. (Great one, 2 bags, dark, skim milk, 4 sugars) There was a group of old ladies in front of me... about 6-7 of them.. deciding on what they should get. They were dressed in their sunday bests on a tuesday at 7:30am and debating between the usual bran muffin, of if they wanted to try the pumpkin... after recommending to them if they wanted a REAL pumpkin muffin to go to starbucks or panera because the ones at dunkin just aren't the same... they suggested that I go ahead of them.. "You look very important, we don't want you to be late for work... we're just ladies of leisure today, we come out once a month and do this together as friends" I said thank you, and went first... As I placed my order, I turned to me right and they all just seemed so happy... I wish when I get to that age in life that i too can be that happy, that I can have a group of friends to go out with and make smile like that someday. I wanted to do something nice for these old ladies. As the girl behind the counter rang up their order it came to $22 and change. My order was under $3. Before the ladies could even pull any money out of their purses I told the girl.. add it to mine. These ladies you would think won the lottery.. I was instantly taken into their arms.. hugged, kissed, praised.. sure it felt good to do a good thing for them.. but the faces they made and the gratitude they showed made it all worth it.
This may just be one example of how I've been able to touch others lives, but we ALL can make a difference in someone else's life without even knowing it. At any given time in life you never know who could be thinking of you, praying for you, wishing, dreaming, and hoping for you. Walking through the streets of providence for school/work/fun/etc.. there was always an abundance of homeless people around and every one was always begging for money, some for booze yes, but others for food, clothing, LIFE. I remember someone telling me that a homeless man came up to them and asked them for money one day for beer, and instead of giving the homeless man a dollar or 2, he invited him in to a local bar, bought him a beer, sat with him.. and heard his story. Another one of my friends was in boston one day, and a homeless lady asked how he was.. and he asked her how she was.. her response: Every day is getting better. She didn't beg, she didn't ask, she just.. was living her life to the best she can, and knew one day things would change for her.. she had such a positive outlook on life he invited her out for coffee.
Sometimes these little deeds in life can be costly, but other times.. they can cost you NOTHING. I remember one time in college cleaning out my closet of old clothes/coats/etc.. and driving home one day from work and making a little detour to where I knew a group of homeless men lived. Instead of donating the clothing to the salvation army I stopped by their tent behind the old mall and asked them if they were cold, naturally being the dead of winter they said yes. I said it's not much, but I have some extra coats and sweaters I was getting rid of, please.. take them. They were so grateful... while standing there.. you couldn't help but notice how famished and sickly they looked.. I felt like I had to do SOMETHING else... I told them I would be right back, I had something else for them. I ran to McDonalds.. picked up a bag of cheeseburgers.. ( I think there was 10 burgers in total) returned to them, gave them the burgers and was headed home. One of the guys said he hasn't had McDonalds since his wife was in the hospital. He naturally started to share his story. Months prior he was in the hospital with his wife who was deathly ill.. he had to spend day and night with her. Eventually she got so sick she passed away. H then got laid off from his job and just couldn't make ends meet and before he knew it, he was homeless.
But to get back on track of "Paying it Forward" please take time, open your eyes.. realize what you have around you. Cherish it. Help that person in need, help them the way you would like to be helped one day. Do for them what is right, what is just, and what needs to be done. Because at the end of the day we are all human, we all deserve to be treated like humans. A great story I was once told about paying it forward is about a little girl who was sitting in her third grade classroom. Her name was Susie.
Picture this... third grade classroom..... There is a nine-year-old kid sitting at his desk and all of a sudden, there is a puddle between his feet and the front of his pants are wet. He thinks his heart is going to stop because he cannot possibly imagine how this has happened. It's never happened before, and he knows that when the boys find out he will never hear the end of it. When the girls find out, they'll never speak to him again as long as he lives. The boy believes his heart is going to stop; he puts his head down and prays this prayer, 'Dear God, this is an emergency! I need help now! Five minutes from now I'm dead meat.' He looks up from his prayer and here comes the teacher with a look in her eyes that says he has been discovered. As the teacher is walking toward him, a class mate named Susie is carrying a goldfish bowl that is filled with water. Susie trips in front of the teacher and inexplicably dumps the bowl of water in the boy's lap. The boy pretends to be angry, but all the while is saying to himself, 'Thank you, Lord! Thank you, Lord!' Now all of a sudden, instead of being the object of ridicule, the boy is the object of sympathy. The teacher rushes him downstairs and gives him gym shorts to put on while his pants dry out. All the other children are on their hands and knees cleaning up around his desk. The sympathy is wonderful. But as life would have it, the ridicule that should have been his has been transferred to someone else - Susie. She tries to help, but they tell her to get out. You've done enough, you klutz!' Finally, at the end of the day, as they are waiting for the bus, the boy walks over to Susie and whispers, 'You did that on purpose, didn't you?' Susie whispers back, 'I wet my pants once too.'
Although the story of Susie may seem a little off topic, think about it. It all has to do with karma, and doing what you would want others to do to you. We have all been in that little boys place at one point in our life.. wishing, hoping, praying that someone like Susie was around to take the blame and embarrassment off of us. (for once) And we can one day end up like the man who lost his wife and job and ended up homeless, and praying for a warm jacket or a burger. One night we could all be rushed to the hospital hoping for a friend to be by our side to help us if needed. To be our support system. We can't go through life alone. There is no way we can survive.
Take time this holiday season, reflect on the people who may have been there for you in your darkest hours. Think about what they might of done for you to pay it forward. Think about the Susie in your life, that person who took the embarrassment off of you for a change. I have never felt so blessed as I have this past year between my friends and family. I'd like to thank you all for what you have done for ME. And i promise you this.. I will be your Susie, I will be your friend, I will be your enemy, but I will always care for you, I will always do what is right, I will always do what I WANT DONE FOR ME. I will always treat you like a human, I will always love you like a human, I will give you the respect you deserve. It's like they say.. what goes around comes around. I might need you to help me with a project for a change, I might need you to stay up all night and help me study/plan for a big test tomorrow, I might get into a car accident and need you to give me rides around town, I might need you there for me one day in the ER till the early hours of the morning, I might need you as a shoulder to cry on, I might need you to give me a meal in my poorest of days.. but most of all I need you. My friends and family I rely on you to get me through this crazy world. You may come into this world alone, and you may leave alone... but that doesn't mean you need to spend your days here on earth alone. Take time out of your day for others. Make time. You must in order to survive. And please, don't just make time for me, make time for those less fortunate than us, those who are struggling and dying and those who have to live every day going with out. One day it will all come back to you and be worth it. Karma may be a bitch.. but she is one FIERCE bitch. =)
So thank you.
MA, KH, CB, SM, DD, DM, MW, AN, SN, MN... all of you. thanks.
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